Are You Clear About Your Child’s Developmental Needs?

Parents are living in a strange landscape.

There is so much information on offer, both formal and informal - from psychologists, armchair psychologists, parents with a sample set of precisely 1 child, etc.

Sometimes you're told that you will intuitively know how to parent and to just trust your instincts.

Sometimes you’re told that you should follow 5 distinct steps to thriving. Maybe 8. Maybe you’ve lost track.

Amidst all this confusion, as this recent Atlantic article attests, the need for and benefits of parent learning are real.

Let’s imagine we are having a conversation together, and I ask you, “how would you describe your young child’s developmental needs at this age?” How would you respond?

You would likely name a few you have heard about and can attest to yourself. Love. Motor skills. Language. At this moment in time, some of you would likely say secure attachment. And what would you say about learning, about ‘academics?’

Naming something is quite different from understanding it in practice.

What does it mean to offer love? Saying it? Hugs? Picking your child up when they want to be carried, even when you are tired? A perfectly curated birthday party?

What does it mean to support motor skill development? A gym class? Holding a crayon or pencil? Coloring in the lines? A ski trip? A scooter? Riding a bike?

What does it mean to support language development? Stream-of-consciousness talking at you? Books at bedtime? Language class? A bilingual household?

What does it mean to foster secure connection? Stopping what you are doing anytime your child tries to get your attention? Speaking gently? Being there for the bedtime routine?

What does it mean to nurture learning? Singing the a-b-c song, using apps, naming farm animals and colors, reciting addition facts, using pre-K workbooks, extracurricular classes for chess or language or music?

I challenge you to have a conversation with yourself, with your partner, or with a friend about how you interpret your child’s needs - as a learner, as a being - at this time.

In the weeks ahead, we are going to look carefully at the conditions for growth in early childhood. I would love for you to start by taking some time to consciously examine your current, baseline understanding.

Where did it come from? Is it time for an update?

The actual answers to the questions above may surprise you.

Strengthening understanding and putting concepts into practice is the nature of my work with parents. If you’d like to grow with me, learn more here.