Inviting Your Child In: Writing Placecards
As the parent of a young child, you want to be aware that one of the main developmental pieces to consider at this time is the strengthening of the hands.
When we speak of ‘fine motor skills,’ we are limiting our understanding of this quintessentially human achievement. We’ve left the dignity, grace, power, and wonder of the hand by the wayside.
Human beings have worked with their hands to create magnificent things for millennia.
As your child enters into the human experience, the refinement of the hand is a meaningful part of their growth on many levels.
Not just so your child can write. So they can construct and create. Play guitar or piano, learn to fly-fish or bake, practice cooking and drawing with skill and fulfillment.
So take some time to consider the importance of the hand. If you’d like a reminder, visit a museum.
Next, consider what you are currently offering your child to support this aspect of growth. Conduct a mental audit. Do you have chalk, crayons, scissors, clay regularly available? Blocks of different weights and sizes? Cooking tools for your child to use? Are they opening their own containers? Closing their own jacket?
Your child will strengthen their hands with practice and specific activities support that process. We’ll share more about what this looks like in the coming weeks.
Today, as you prepare for Thanksgiving, let’s talk placecards.
This is not about having a highly curated or picture-perfect table.
This is about inviting your child into contribution. Fostering interconnection with the other guests at your table. Purposeful work with the hands.
Writing Placecards:
What you’ll need: scratch paper for practice, paper of choice for placecards, and a pencil for you as well as a writing tool that is appropriate for your child.
If your child is not yet using drawing tools to make simple shapes and lines - do not ask them to write. Instead, you can encourage your child to decorate placecards with a little drawing, and then you will add the names. They will still feel very proud of their participation.
Please note that for children in the early stages of writing, the appropriate tool would be a thick crayon; for older children or those with writing practice, this can be a regular crayon or a pencil.
You can break this up into a few sittings. Start with making your list, and discussing your plan, but your child may want and need to do just a few placecards at a time. This is wonderful - you can repeat this activity on a few separate days.
Sit side by side with your child with a piece of paper and a pencil. With your child’s help, think of the guests who are coming to dinner. You write them down on a list. If you are visiting another’s home, you can still make placecards and bring them with you! Who could resist a child’s hand-written placecards?
Write each name slowly as you make your list, so your child can see your handwriting. We live in a time when children rarely see adults writing by hand - we type, we text, etc. So be aware that the modeling of writing is a key aspect of this work.
Describe a placecard to your child. “Do you know, we can make placecards so that every guest knows their place to sit at the table! A placecard is a small sign, made out of paper, with a person’s name on it. When you see a placecard with your name on it, you know that this specific place at the table is just for you. Remember when we saw those at your Uncle’s wedding?”
Decide on how to create your placecards, together. How could you make these? Discuss with your child. It can be as simple as cutting construction paper in thirds and folding in half, or using blank 3 x 5 cards, or something from a stationary store. What writing tool will they use? What colors? Perhaps your child will even want to decorate the cards after writing names. Talk it out. Too often, we are reliant on craft kits with young children that make the decisions for them - involve your child in the planning process to foster creative and critical thinking and agency.
Offer your child a clear model and then have them practice writing names. You can invite your child to practice writing names on a blank piece of paper. First, you want to offer a clear written model for each name, separate from your list. Write a guest’s name, and then have your child write the same name beside yours. Or write a name very faintly in pencil, and have them write over yours.
After practice, invite your child to slowly start to write placecards on your chosen paper. DO NOT CORRECT. Your child need not get these perfect or erase any mistakes. Just encourage them to go slowly.
When writing is complete, respect and admire the outcomes. Do not correct your child. Appreciate their effort without saying an empty ‘good job.’
Decorate further, if desired.
Invite your child to gently set their placecards in a plastic bag to store them until Thanksgiving.
On Thanksgiving, invite your child to set the placecards on the table with pride. Appreciate their contribution. “Thank you for making these placecards! Now we all know where to sit. That was so helpful and we appreciate your work.”
Enjoy and repeat often when you have family dinners or share your table (or another) with guests!