Small Kindnesses
Many parents think a lot about what they offer young children, on a certain level. From books and toys, to schools and teachers and extracurricular classes, from foods to gifts to the ways you spend your family time. The trips you take and the way you celebrate holidays.
We spend less time considering the influence of the small, daily interactions we have in the presence of young children. And we’d be wise to consider if these experiences communicate care and regard - for ourselves, for others, for community.
We’ve just concluded Easter weekend, and I saw so many parents trying to offer idealized experiences - from egg hunts to Easter baskets to family gatherings.
Sound familiar?
Instead of the grand gestures, I invite you to more closely consider the small gestures you make in daily life with and around your child.
Your child is taking in your ways of being - all of them - and these become a part of the fabric of their character.
The way you welcome and acknowledge others - from a waiter or a checkout clerk at the grocery to your local librarian.
The way you communicate appreciation to and for others - a bus driver, a flight attendant, the person who delivers your mail, the person who hands you a cup of coffee.
The way you demonstrate care for others - your neighbors, your friends and family, the individuals in your community.
The way you share generosity - in any way you can, including with those who may be less resourced.
At any time, and during a holiday, these exchanges are what actually speak volumes about who we are. And your young child is taking in all of them.
Think about the ‘small kindnesses’ your child is seeing in daily life. What are they experiencing? What are they not experiencing? What types of interactions can you approach with greater consciousness of others and more self-awareness?
If we want our children to say thank you, we need to live with a sense of appreciation - not just exchange some words at the end of a transactional encounter.
If we want our children to care for others, and themselves in a healthy way, we need to prioritize this, too.
Maybe your experiences need to be more heart-felt, more caring, and less idealized?
Food for thought.