Independence at Home

I would imagine that this petite pitcher and set of glasses, scaled for a young child’s use, could be considered in two ways:

• Appealing and attractive

  • Aesthetically pleasing, curated

• Idealistic and unnecessary

  • Lovely, yet who has the time? Does it actually matter that a child uses a real glass and pours for themselves? You’re just trying to get breakfast eaten or dinner on the table. You have work to get to - during the day, after bedtime.

To this second perspective, I hear you.

And I still want to share that your child’s capacity for independence does matter.

Not superficially - developmentally.

If you want your child to approach life at school with agency, effort, and self-direction - and I think you do - you will want to support these characteristics at home in tangible ways.

And so this isn’t about having a curated set of glassware.

This is about asking yourself how you can more consciously empower your child’s growth.

What are you doing for your child that they could actually do for themselves, with a little time and effort?

At a certain stage, your child doesn’t need you - or their caregiver - to pour their water, plate their food, put on their shoes, fasten their jacket, carry their sweater or backpack home. Adults fulfill these actions out of habit, expediency, efficiency, a desire for minimal mess.

And that type of ‘help’ becomes a barrier to growth.

What does your child need from you, instead?

Your child needs you to model skills - how to serve oneself food or close a fall jacket, how to decode a word or write the number 5, how to rake leaves or chop an apple. They need time and space to practice with just the necessary scaffolding, as well as your faith and trust in their process. They need your certainty that this matters, and is worth the effort and expectation.

Your child needs you to prioritize this developmental work - however slow or non-linear it may appear to be - within the busy context of life.

Consider your own experiences and the teachers or mentors you have learned from in significant ways. Can you recognize that it was modeling, practice, trust, and some specific guidance and confirmation as necessary that helped you grow?

If you want to support your child in fulfilling their potential, ask yourself how you may be limiting them at home.

What could you do differently today?