Holiday Hint: Be Discerning
We shared so many potential gift ideas with you in the last week.
Now, we want to share the hint that matters most.
Be discerning.
Part of why we’ve shared many options is because we know how easy it is to find yourself with a Paw Patrol toy or a Frozen book or another plastic play set and recognize that you’d like to be more intentional.
You feel it just isn’t realistic.
It does take effort to go against the child-oriented consumer industrial complex.
In ways, it also takes effort to acquire less instead of more.
It is worth your while.
Look at the gifts you are considering sharing.
Are you clear about their value to your child?
As Maria Montessori shared so powerfully, there are real consequences when we offer toys without intention:
“It is a common, but false, belief that the child, who has the most toys, the most help, should also be the most developed. Instead of that, the confused multitude of objects with which he is surrounded only aggravates the chaos of his mind and further discourages him.” (The Discovery of the Child, p. 106)
Be discerning.
Instead of giving yourself over to an influx of random toys, take these steps:
Ask loved ones for specific gifts. Let them know you do not want additional presents - they don’t need to add to your choices or get creative to show they care. If you need suggestions, check our our Holiday Hint Lists.
Ask yourself if the gifts you are choosing meet certain criteria:
Is this toy developmentally meaningful? Why is this toy of value to your child as they learn and grow? The answer should not simply be “they love x character or y movie.” New, heavy wax crayons support development of the hands; a puzzle might help your child develop visual sequencing skills and hand-eye coordination. A book about different types of families offers your child relational learning; a book about winter helps them understand their physical world.
Can this item be used in different ways for months to come? Most craft kits can just be used once or a few times, but a peeler can peel carrots, sweet potatoes, and beets all winter. A good set of paints can be used again and again; a beloved book can be revisited in many ways.
Does my child have something like this already? If we want our children to stop seeking novelty, we have to be willing to stop offering it.
Is this item well-made? Young children are sensorial learners. Be mindful of how much of that sensory input is coming from plastic. It is better to have one lovely, carefully-made doll than many made of lesser quality. One set of quality colored pencils offers a child a superior experience of drawing and will last for a long while.
Do I really want to give my child this gift, or am I just trying to make the winter holidays ‘special’? Less is more for your child’s development. Have courage and stand by that statement. You can make the holidays special in so many ways. We don’t want to give children the impression that we value quantity over quality, that accumulating more is what makes an experience special. Particularly as the coming weeks unfold, resist the urge to do and gift more.